glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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