She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize