I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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