Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
