how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
