well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
