found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
