I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
false alarm, still single
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