I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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