I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
