terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
