its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
