Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
