Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
