The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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