sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
