I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize