Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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