i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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