Will you blow on my dice?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
