K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
