I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
