This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
