No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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