Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
