isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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