Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
