Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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