The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
