Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
