So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize