guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I need moral support for this bender
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
