I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
