this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize