That's when you crack a 10am beer
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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