Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
