TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
