There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
