i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
