I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
