Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
