youre lurking in front of me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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