You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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