those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
