you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I still have a little drunk in my system
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
