why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Small penises have feelings too.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You are a genius and a whore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
