Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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