we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
