Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
