im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
