She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
