She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A+ Viking dick
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
