went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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