How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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