I bet he comes in French.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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