I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
