Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
pop tarts are not kleenex
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
