I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
