Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize