That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
