Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
