hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
