he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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