if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
