We're facebook friends in real life
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
