How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
