Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
