Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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