i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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