Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
