just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Me too!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
