dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
