do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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